( Below is an excerpt of live session done by myself Aaliyah Khan. You can view session youtube channel at https://youtu.be/p0qOSCfn0do)
Children are parents most valuable asset and every parent dreams about making their children amazing,responsible people. Besides giving good education imparting moral values is important.
Especially Muslims are quiAte ignorant about the importance of these values. In an authentic chain of narration there is a Hadith which states ,”I was only sent to perfect good manners and attitude.. In a seperate HAdith , Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) has said, “Whoever is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness. “
There are Practical tips I would love to share which would make inculcating these values easier
- TEACH MORAL VALUES BY BEING THEIR ROLE MODEL : From 5-6 yrs children start differentiating between right and wrong. They see their parent as a role models. As they grow understanding grows and they understand concepts. They become keen observers. They quickly judge if there is a discrepancy between what you say and what you do.
- NARRATE STORIES OF PROPHETS: Let them have the right role models other than fictional heroes, cartoon characters. Just not narrate but discuss stories with them. Tell them which qualities of prophets you admire and why. This shall instill good qualities.
- BE POLITE,RESPECTFUL: Listen respectfully to them when they are narrating you an incident. Respect,kindness, are values we all aim to inculcate in kids. But it is more easier said than done. It requires us to exhibit the same
- INVOLVE THEM IN RELIGIOUS ACTIVITIES SINCE YOUNG: Do not wait for them to become 7 yrs to actually start offering Salaah. LOvingly introduce them to Salaah, Reading quran etc.
- SPEND QUALITY TIME: A time wherin neither of you are distracted by gadgets or work etc.
- DIALOGUE IN REAL SITUATIONS: Discuss while in a situation eg a shopkeeper shouting at employee or a child throwing tantrum in a supermaket. Whether this behavious is good or not. Also what should the right behaviour be?
- PROVIDE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP OTHERS
- COMMENT ON COMPASSIONATE BEHAVIOUR: Emphasise CAring is an important value. Eg keep elder one responsible for some chores of the younger one.
- APOLOGISE WHEN YOU MAKE MISTAKES
- SHARE OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES
- HOLD CHILD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR MISTAKES. NEVER TRY TO ALWAYS CONCEAL IT: Here we need to strike a balance. There are some parents who react to every mistake the child does. on the other end are parents who try to cover up the mistakes of their kids. There should be a balanced approach wherin a parent should react in some situations and leave out others. Minor punishments can be given like decreasing their play time or cartoon viewing time etc
- APPLAUD GOOD BEHAVIOUR
- USE PARENTAL CONTROLS AND ENSURE THAT YOUR CHILD IS WATCHING THE RIGHT CARTOONS AND KEEP AN EYE ON SOCIAL MEDIA USE. These are some of the tips which one can use to inculcate moral values in kids with hadith which says that, “Allah SWT will ask every caretaker about people under his care and Man shall be asked about people of his household.” As a parent it is our responsibility to raise kids with right Islamic values.
I would end this session with Duaa from SUrah Ahqaf verse 15 :
My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.. Aameen Ya RAbb.
For those looking out for books on Islamic values can check out A Treasury of Islamic values which is available at https://www.theislamickidstore.com/collections/story-books/products/a-treasury-of-islamic-values-for-children-ed-tajwar-hasan