Having children is a blessing Alhamdulillah. As mentioned in Quran ” Wealth and children are adornment of life.” But Parents also hold enormous leverage in terms of what they teach their children and accordingly how their children grow up as adults. The Prophet (s) said:“Allah (SWT) will ask every caretaker about the people under his care, and the man will be asked about the people of his household” (Nasa’i, Abu Da’ud).
Allah (SWT) states in the Quran about the need to raise families in the light of their end destination, which may be translated in the following words:
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded” (Tahrim 66:6).
Children have the right, therefore, to be raised as responsible Muslim adults and parents must ensure that right appropriately. The Prophet Muhammad (s) said:“Every one of your (people) is responsible, and everyone is responsible for whatever falls under his responsibility. A man is like a shepherd of his own family, and he is responsible for them”(Bukhari and Muslim).
So we have outlined for you Some of the rules for islamic upbringing of children.
1)Righteous Spouse : Children upbringing starts with a righteous mother ,hence first start by finding a righteous wife.
2) Supplications : After marrying a righteous spouse ,then make duaa for a righteous child.
3) Aqeeqah and Tahneek :Welcome your child in this world the islamic way. It includes giving him the chewed date of righteous person(Tahneek). Performing his aqeeqah on the seventh day. as well as shaving his hair. Avoid celebration of days like chilla (40th day) and chatti ( 6th day ) functions.
4) Good Name
5) Breastfeed the child.
6) Introduce them to Allah’s name .Let their first words be Allah.
7) Avoid discrimination and do justice in raising children
8) Teach Aqeedah to children and teach them the power of Allah ,his attributes of being a creator of all ,everything under his control .
9) Rigteous mother :Mother’s role is very important in raising children. She should have a good character in herself and inculcate islamic values in children
10)Avoid Excessive Pampering : Do not spoil your kids especially as regards building their character
11) Father should supervise over the daily activities of children
12) Give your child the right education and as far as possible ensure that there is islamic environment in those institutions.
13) Ensure your child chooses the right friends and companions
14) Do not continously keep negating your child.Its better you provide alternate suggestons while refusing something.
15) Let your child do physical activities,sports etc
16) To encourage them reward them ,hold healthy competitions
17) Teach them eemaniyat. All Islamic values.
18) Be friends with your children especially during teen years and be their guide during such years. Teach the concept of love in a shariah manner so they avoid unislamic romances
19) Perform your offspring Nikaah soon when they reach adolscence whether boy or girl so as to protect them
20) Keep your child away from TV especially movies,soaps ,dramas etc. Even if TV is at home let it play only educational and islamic programmes.
21) Parents should be a good role model for their kids by setting good examples of good muslim character.
22) Show love and affection to children
23) Teach duaas as well as moral values like truthfulness